Situation
From day one it was evident that I was not welcome in the office by the General Manager. The Beirut office was staffed by a team of approximately ninety, almost all of whom were Lebanese nationals. They were well educated and distinctly Westernised in their outlook and dress. Of the ninety staff members, approximately 70% were women, drawn from a diverse array of backgrounds and religious sects.
Actions taken to build relationships
The Lebanese people are warm, hospitable and friendly. At the same time, however, they can be deeply suspicious of strangers and thrive on gossip, rumours and unfounded speculation. As the only Englishman in the office, deployed directly from the London headquarters, I was immediately viewed with suspicion.
I started by acquainting myself with all the staff, talking to as many people as I could. I frequently asked for advice, using individual local knowledge as a currency to build relationships and my own knowledge.
Mealtimes in the office were a daily spectacle. Mealtimes are an event, not a function. When green beans were in season for a few weeks, there would be fierce competition over whose mother had produced the best green bean curry or salad. I used mealtimes as an opportunity to embed myself, by arriving after everyone had sat down and waiting to be invited to join a table. My favourite day was Friday, when I would eat with the front desk team: three ladies who were all married and strictly religious Shia Muslims. Each week they would insist on buying me a local dish and explaining its origins. In turn, I came to understand how sheltered and deeply religious they were, despite their ostensibly Western appearance.
My relationship with the General Manager was strained, as we had clashed several times over a series of trips into Beirut by some of our team from Iraq. On one occasion, in July 2015, the GM overruled me, saying they could spend the weekend in the city and enjoy themselves. That weekend they were caught up in a violent riot during the You Stink protests in central Beirut.
Results and outcomes
I never discussed the situation of the stranded Iraqi men with the General Manager as an ‘I told you so’. Culturally, to embarrass him would have been career suicide. However, his opinion and attitude changed overnight, and he started asking for my advice on internal and regional tensions. I made sure that I never missed a work social engagement that I was invited to, despite finding it uncomfortable personally, because every social function quickly turned into very loud music and dancing on tables.
Key learnings
- Religion was never discussed. If I was unsure of someone’s faith, I would ask where they lived in the city, as the sects live in ethnographic clusters, enabling me to understand their positionality.
- They are a deeply collective society who discuss everything in intimate detail. The staff struggled to understand how I could live alone in my Beirut apartment, happy with solitude and peace.
- Irrespective of cultural awareness and experience, mistakes are still made. I made a remark about my family, saying my parents were not important to me and I had no feelings towards my mother, as she had passed away. This was an enormous mistake. They are not comments that are shared with anyone in Lebanese society.
Reflective observations
After my first year in Beirut, I coined a phrase about the Middle East: “The more you think you understand the Middle East, the more you will realise that you never fully understand the Middle East.” Through sitting and listening, I had gained an immense insight into the culture, the Lebanese subgroups and sects, and the importance of family above everything else. I found myself in a curious position: an independent, robust consultant who was constantly being protected and advised by the staff, because the Lebanese take ownership of protecting an outsider.
I played golf in Beirut every Saturday, in Dahiyeh. As the conflict in Syria expanded, the regular caddies disappeared, to be replaced by men injured fighting on the front line in Syria. This was a great source of knowledge, through the lens of sympathy and enquiry. Meals and socialising are central to everything.